I recently read a quote by Kerry Washington that said “When it comes to parenting one always has to make the choices that feel right you.”
This has so much truth to it as we all have different parenting styles. As well as the simple fact that, what works for you and your family may not work for mine. We are different people; with different beliefs and ideals. How I parent and discipline my child will differ from how you parent yours. Although there may be some similarities, there will also be differences. That does not mean that you love your child any less or that you are a bad parent, we are just different and that is okay. Just like our children are different and so are their personalities.
Kerry Washington’s quote rang very true to me for a number of reasons, but I’ll just share two with you today. The first reason is – strangers giving unsolicited advice and judging your parenting skills . One such incident was when my daughter was about 6 months old and starting solids. We were preparing for a trip, so I went to Dischem (with her in tow) to go buy some organic bottled baby food as travelling with fresh food was not an option. While I was looking at the food, some lady came up to us and started playing with my baby. She then proceeded to say to her “Oh your mama is buying jarred food for you? You should tell to stop being lazy and make it herself.” Exactly, you can imagine my shock as I didn’t know this woman from a bar of blue soap. Yet she automatically thought it was great idea to low key judge my parenting skills and give advice that she wasn’t asked for; all because I chose to buy my child jarred food instead of making it. I swiftly turned to her and said, “Actually I do make her food myself, but since we are going on a trip I have to resort to jarred food.” I then turned around took the food of the shelf and walked away.
This happened to me again when I was out in public and my daughter was acting up. As I do at home, she got three warnings and when she didn’t stop misbehaving she got a time out. Since we were at the mall I took her to the family bathrooms and put her in time out. As she was screaming because of course she was none too pleased about being punished, in walked a woman and she said I was being too harsh on her. Bare in mind I hadn’t spanked her, just put her in the naughty corner. I believe in being consistant with my child-and she knows the rules.
I questioned what she meant because If I don’t discipline her then she will be a bratty naughty child, who will grow up to be a rude and disrespectful adult. The other option is I discipline her now so she grows up to be a well-adjusted adult with great manners. Not knowing how to answer, she just changed her child’s nappy and left.
My parenting style is loving but I do discipline my child when I need to. I believe that I should discipline my child or the world will do it for me and that will be harsher than any form of discipline I would have given her. My discipline comes from a place of love, where as the world’s is for punishment.
Many people will judge how you choose to raise your child but at the end of the day it boils down to what you want to instill in your child. And what you feel is important for your child to grow up and be the person you wish for them to be.
I have learned that many people will have their opinions on how you should raise your child. But at the end of the day, you as the parents have to do what is good for you and family.
And some will even give you unsolicited advice on certain things, but again you have the power to choose if and what advice you want to take. There is nothing wrong with saying, “thanks for your advice but we choose to do things this way”. This is your child after all and you have the right to say “thanks but no thanks”, especially if that advice was not asked for. You know your parenting style, trust that inner voice and do it your way.
Have you ever been given unsolicited parent advice or been mommy judged, especially from a stranger? How did you handle it?
Please leave a comment below.
Love & Light
Rach….